


Author's Notes

by Julia_Danse



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Authors notes, I love you people, Other, my own thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2020-11-26 01:02:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20921585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_Danse/pseuds/Julia_Danse
Summary: Maybe I will publish something here and there and why I'm lacking new one shots...This is for my thoughts only, or to let you know what's up.





	1. Chapter 1

So yeah...

Welcome to '_Author's Notes'_

I just wanted to say that I am sorry for not posting in almost 2 months. Life got a little too much out of me lately...  
Had an ambulant surgery at the beginning of August, then I got married and was at my honeymoon, got the second ambulant surgery for the same reason... Which frightened and depressed me as fuck.

I'm tired all the time. Although i love my job, but I don't want to do it anymore. I want something else do to wich I can earn money with. A job where I don't get drained of my enegy so easily.   
I am going to move from my current home into a new one. Gladly it's just to the house next door but anyway. That will drain me as fuck, too... At least I will have my very own nest with my husband.

And I wanted to tell you that I finally had new ideas. Two of them are already in the making. And I will take my sweet time to write as best as I am possible to. I'd never forget you awesome people.   
(I still can't believe that I got kudos for my last oneshot. That thing's just as ugly and terrible as my depression xD)

I also want to thank everyone I follow, left kudos, comment and read. You guys and girls are amazing and I am so damn glad that I found your works. My love goes out to you all <3

  
Last but not least, have a great start into the new week.

X Julia


	2. Christmas mood

This is the only platform I can talk about my depression without my family noticing...

It's Christmas and I am so very sad.

I'm in pain at the part between my shoulders and my neck. I'm almost at begging my mom and husband to massage me, to get some release of the tension in my muscles there. But they both reject my bidding and I can feel myself falling into vertigo and tense up more in that area. That's why I take a lot of painkillers and I'm afraid of becoming a junkie by my own behavior...

*

I did get an undercut this year and now I'm at regrowing my hair which causes my hair to look like a shitty mess. My mom's a trained hair dresser and declines this too. She's even annoyed because I was asking nicely.

I hate being rejected and at my current state I get pissed very easily. 

You might think "what a pussy" but you can suck an icicle...

I'm lying in my bed and try to suppress the urge to cry. I feel alone and left out. 

I'm tired...

Guess that's the last time I visit my mom at Christmas time -_-


	3. (Happy) New Year

Hello all. Hope you had a good start into this new year.   
  
I fell asleep on 31.12. because of a tremendous neck pain and headache (**_after_** I took some meds against it of course...) before the first midnight rockets flew into the sky. My mom avoided to massage me again of course and I was really pissed... At least my husband gave me one after we were home again.  
  
I also got a call from a very good friend. Told me about the end of her pregnancy and how her little girl was born. It's an understatement to say that I was and still am shocked as fuck of what she had to go through.   
  
2 weeks in hospital before Christmas, her kids asked her when she'd come home with them. She lost one and a half liters of blood during the labour and the child was at risk before she came out. The little one weighted under 2800 grams, can you believe that? That was due to a knot in the umbilical cord and her heart rate dropped significant. But she screamed and was hungry right after the birth and so we all hope she's fine.   
  
My friend of course had a huge mental break down with all that. She also got a pregnancy poisoning and another medical issue afterwards, but I don't want to mention it here. She also told me that her heart rate was over 180 to 190 all the time and at night too. No meds were helping her...  
  
I'm so damn glad that nothing else happened. She could have had a stroke or heart attack or what ever.   
The little girl is her fourth child and she really thought that this birth would be as easy as with the first daughter... She could have died this time.  
  
  
My friend also has dogs. Very beautiful (golden aged) Setters. One had to go already because of bone cancer last year. And it could be that today their second dog has had to die because of a untreatable cancer in her mouth. The third of the lady squad would turn 15 this year, but it's not sure if she ever will reach her birthday... And the fourth has a mast cell tumor in her paw.  
  
I don't want that to happen. But the ladies are all overdue... (I guess) and all that left me in tears at New Years Eve.   
  
  
At least the food was good.  
It had been a year (lol) since the last Raclette orgy. It was almost too much, but too good to just stop eating. And at NYE we had Leberkäse with several salads and Christmas cookies as dessert.  
  
So yeah... Enough of that. I wish you well.


	4. Katryn's new look

So, hello my friends. I've decided to change my girl's appearance. Since she got attacked by that ghoul (from the Far Harbor OS) she has those scars in her face. She also decided to go to the hairdresser (AGAIN!) and change her hair too. So that's how Kathryn's looking now.

[New Look of Kathryn Kay](https://scontent-frt3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/87900296_3600977213309131_5435200964703289344_o.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=URA-zrPAxOIAX8Nd8W6&_nc_ht=scontent-frt3-1.xx&_nc_tp=7&oh=115b181d44b6de122622cdad15089944&oe=5EF591E1)   
  


Hope you can open it, cause I saved it for only me. I wanted to show her to you. She's also wearing the Grognak Costume in this pic.

I also hope you are all well, no matter if physical or mental.   
I'm always there if you need someone to listen.

I love you <3

X J


	5. Just ugh...

My tablet died... Can you believe that? It served me for 6 years of daily usage. And it seems like today's the final day... :'-( 

All my reading progress is gone. Hope the tablet I ordered really will be delivered by tomorrow so I can dig into all the fantastic stories again.

I'm honestly devastated at the moment and my day is ruined *huff*

I hope you are better dear people.

Love, J


	6. "Wanna chat for a bit?" :-)

Hey so, who ever wants to have a little chitty chat with me, here I give you three ways to do so :-)

Instagram: <https://www.instagram.com/the_real_julia_danse/>  
  
  
Discord: Julia Danse#7976  
  
  
(Somehow Facebook doesn't work... Sorry for that)

Hope you're all safe during this stupid pandemic and do well.

Much love to all of you


	7. Another one...

It happened... After 95 years of walking this earth my grandma died just a few hours ago. My husband says I'm not realizing it yet, because I'm calm on the outside. But on the inside I am crying.  
Yes, my grandma was very senile in the end, asked the same questions over and over again. But I answered them with the same calmness and cheer just like the seconds before, always smiled at her and hugged her when we left. And I think I was the only one treating her like the human she was, and not like an annoying child that asked "Are we there yet?!" over and over again...

She was MY grandma... Not like the grandma from my father's side. This woman never had love for me, not like MY grandma! She was caring, a very good cook and made excellent christmas cookies. She gave me money to buy nice things, or have some fun at the local fair which won't happen this year.

She's now with her family again, her brothers and sisters, her husband who waited 24 long years for her to finally come home. I don't know how they will welcome her, but I'm sure it will be with open arms.

Farewell grandma, you were one hell of a woman!


End file.
